I lived a good part of my life assuming I was a Christian, living what I can only describe as 'the Protestant fantasy' in which the relationship that I am to have with my Father in heaven relies on none of my own actions or attitudes towards him. Instead I was expected to sit back and enjoy the free ride that Jesus paid for me. Now I know better.

I know that God won't come crying on my doorstep, begging to be let in. I know that neither Jesus, nor Paul, nor any apostle ever viewed salvation as a free lunch. I have to change my habits, my mindset, my lifestyle if I ever hope to join God and be his son and partake of the communion with him that is only possible through submission to his will through Jesus.

I suppose it goes without saying that I'm a heretic, huh?