Let's take the extreme example of Germans hiding Jews in their houses during WW2. (inspired by this questionthis question) When asked if they are hiding Jews, what do they say? Do they lie to protect them, or do they tell the truth knowing they'll be sent to a concentration camp? I can think of 3 possibilities:
- Choose the outcome that is the most loving. I certainly wouldn't want to be handed over to the Nazi's.
Do to others as you would have them do to you.
Matthew 7:12 (NIV)
- You can justify lying in the same way as you justify resisting an evil government. See this questionthis question. Lying would be ok in the same way that hiding the Jews in the first place would be ok.
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered the king, "... be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods and we will not worship the golden statue that you have set up."
Daniel 3:16-18 (NRSV)
- Faith. Realize that it is actually not you, but God, who is in control, and he won't punish you for obeying him. Do what he commanded and trust that he will work it out. In our example, you could refuse to answer the Nazi's question even though that causes suspicion.
A controversial Biblical example of this would be Lot refusing to break the hospitality he had offered to two strangers, and instead putting his own daughters at risk. God protects them.
"Look, I have two daughters who have not known a man; let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please; only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof."
Genesis 19:8 (NRSV)
Which option you choose in the extreme case should also guide your decisions in the everyday moral conundrums. I personally believe that the third option is the highest, but also by far the most difficult in practice, because it requires us to give up control.