I am an active member of the church in good standing, but I have some unorthodox views. Just want to put that disclaimer there.
First, I wouldn't go by anything except the scriptures on this. This is a tricky topic, and just because someone has been in a calling to lead the church doesn't mean that they are good at logic. The question you're asking is really one about logical consistency:
The implication seems to be that God actually wanted Adam to sin and then He condemns that which He positively willed to occur
You're asking a logical question about a spiritual topic, so both things are going to enter in to the answer.
Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin. (James 4:17)
For of him unto whom much is given much is required; and he who sins against the greater light shall receive the greater condemnation. (D&C 82:3)
Running this backwards logically, he who sins against lesser light receives lesser condemnation, and he who sins against zero light receives zero condemnation.
The spiritual culpability of Adam and Eve is very much in question. The idea of calling it a "transgression" (it was, undoubtedly, an action against his express commandment) rather than a "sin" (an act knowingly done against the will of God) reflects that idea (because: was it knowingly done? And was it, ultimately, against the will of God? More below--it could have been consistent with the will of God (i.e. supposing God wanted them to take the fruit eventually) but not done at quite the right time, for example).
The fruit gave them knowledge of good and evil, right? So, previous to partaking of it, they couldn't fulfill the criteria of James: to know to do good (which would involve understanding good and evil, which the fruit they had not yet taken was going to open up to them).
Meta commentary: every statement that implies this whole thing is just a simple case of X or Y is wrong. It's subtle, and nuanced. And almost every, if not every, single discussion I've ever heard ignored the counterfactual. What if, when God came back, he found them to have not taken the fruit?. Does God throw up his hands and say "oh well, I guess mortality isn't going to get kicked off after all?" Does that make sense to anyone?
So, with all this in mind, consider the following scenario. A man and a woman (in modern times, I mean) meet. They feel that their destiny is to be together. They are, in fact, correct, but they don't know how correct--it's God's will that they meet, marry, and have a child, some great things will come of this union. However, suppose they succumb to temptation and conceive that child out of wedlock. God's purposes, I assert, can still be fulfilled with and through them. They can marry afterward. They aren't going to be on as solid a foundation as they would have if they'd obeyed the law of chastity in the first place, but they can repent and things can work out ok in the end. It would have been better if they'd obeyed the commandments, though. But the fact that they succumbed to temptation doesn't mean that God's plan was ultimately frustrated.
So, let's go to the Garden. They are instructed not to eat the fruit. They are not told: that they will never be instructed to eat the fruit. They are not told: that it is against God's will for them ever, ever to eat the fruit. They are forbidden to partake of it, and warned that they will die if they do. It doesn't say: that partaking of the fruit is inherently evil.
Now, Satan is attempting to disrupt God's plans in any way he can. Satan may know that God is coming back and that God would prefer that his instructions were followed. God's intentions may be this: see if they have adhered to the commandment. If so, tell them, "good job." Tell them that Satan is a deceiver, that some of the things he said were true, but others were not. Satan said that they wouldn't die, but that is not true. He said they would be as the gods, knowing good from evil, which was true but not maybe to the extent he implied it. They are then commended for following the commandment/instruction. Then, God explains to them that there is only one way for them to fulfill his command to multiply and replenish the earth. They will need to take the fruit and become mortal. Life will become difficult, but it will give them opportunities for growth. And they will be able to have children, which, again, will give them both sorrow and joy. So, the next phase of the plan is that God leaves and they are aware that they have this option and what it means to take it. And maybe Satan comes back and tries to convince them to stay in the garden--again, trying to thwart God's plan any way he can.
We don't know, because we don't have the counterfactual. The idea that God would rely on something bad happening in order for something good (our experience of mortality) to happen just doesn't make sense. (Aside: Even the idea that you have to have had Lucifer rebel in the premortal life or the plan would have been frustrated is, in my opinion, false. Small thinking. You can't imagine God having a plan in place in the case that everyone signs on and no one rebels? How about this: everything else happens the same, but God turns up the difficulty level on the planet itself and we have more temptations simply from the difficulty of living as mortals on a planet with harsh conditions. We can still be enticed by the dark side--giving in to animal urges, losing faith, etc, without an active antagonist.)
I assert that God is able to work with anything we or any other spirit or mortal throws at him. We really need to not think so poorly of God that we believe he couldn't figure out a way for mortality to commence if Eve resisted Satan's persuasions nor if Adam resisted Eve's persuasions. If Adam had not partaken, couldn't God have come back and said "ok, well, your woman here is going to become mortal--this isn't the most ideal sequence, but I'm giving you the option here--do you want to let her go out of the garden and live and die alone, or do you want to go with her? If you go with, the way to do that is to take this fruit, and it means you will also become mortal." And then Adam would have made a choice. I'm not even sure what the right choice would be, probably going with Eve? But suppose he doesn't. Does God just not know what to do? No. Maybe Adam never chooses to leave the garden. Is it impossible for God to create, say, another man? Keep doing so, until one chooses to start the process of mortality? If that's impossible, please explain to me, why? What is it about God that limits him from making another man, maybe this one will be more moved by Eve's plight; making Adam another woman if that's necessary; and, in general--respecting the agency of every single entity involved?
Going back to the hypothetical couple from before. They are still going to love their baby. Good things are still going to happen. It was intended that they come together and have a child. It didn't come about in the most optimal way. What, in your life, have you ever done in the most optimal way?. Perhaps that is the actual lesson we're supposed to learn about the Fall--that Satan will try to thwart God, that we're likely to stumble along the way, but that God always has an answer, his plans are bigger than we imagine, and that we can come back from anything (through the Atonement of Christ) if we repent.
I don't mind if this doesn't convince everyone--but I assert that you can believe this and be completely in line with everything in the scriptures. If you, like me, believe that God is a good being that behaves, in every instance, with love toward us, then believe in this doctrine in a way that is consistent with that truth.
Finally--if I, a random member who thinks a lot, can come up with all these possible scenarios, and ways for God to move the plan forward, don't you think that God has a bunch of better ideas? I am pretty much certain that he does :).
Sin--knowingly acting against the will of God--is never necessary for God's plans to move forward. Every possible contingency will have been thought of, even the case where nobody sins. Every one. You don't have to know what all those plans were/would be in order to know that he can, and did, figure them out, and had every single one of them ready for every possible contingency.