There are no ways to help a Christian or a prospective believer cope with such "emotional torment", or survivals guilt. They have to first understand the mission at hand, then any level of emotional pandering or genteelisms will not be needed. Let's use some paraphrased, scriptural logic train.
Who is my mother and who are my brothers? whoever does the will of my father in heaven, Mathew 12:46-50 - Contrary to kinship, affiliations are governed by interest, vision. if heaven is the focus, subconsciously, it will reflect with your choice of community, in only these unions should you dedicate your body, mind, soul for they align with your heavenly will. Jesus "dined with Pharisees, tax collectors and prostitutes" to influence, not to entertain or be entertained. That is to say, if the kingdom of God is like a burning fire inside you, and it's just not a belief you find intellectual comfort in, you would subconsciously dwell on the gospel with them till said friend or family starts aligning themselves to the will of God, or they start finding you irritable and naturally separate themselves from you.
"He came to divide, to bring sons against fathers, daughters against mothers" - Luke 12:53. For God frowns on any relationship that doesn't serve the purpose he has for you.
See the parable of the great banquet regarding the cost of discipleship - Luke 14.."If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple"
With all aforementioned, anyone who is to take up his cross and follow Christ must first understand the intra- and interpersonal sacrifices it entails. It has little to do with having intellectual comfort in the Jesus story and verbal professions.
Is it not in the same bible he states: "Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of My Father in heaven" - Matthew 7:21.
In light of the verse above, let's address your statement regarding the thought of people you love being condemned and burning in hell - Again, the instance you hold unto a notion that someone you know or close to you is going to hell is the moment you inadvertently abandon your sole duty as a Christian on earth - which is to "work with faith". There are several applications of that phrase but in this context, preach endlessly with faith. For without faith, you are just regurgitating scriptures.
Also bear in mind, God asserted: "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, compassion of those I have compassion." - Romans 9:15
The moment you hold the thought of superiority over another towards salvation, for you believe and they don't, repeat unto yourself, "The first shall be last and the last first" - Matthew 20:16 for the Lord God does as he pleases.
Hence, Christians should endeavor to rid themselves of linear measures of judgment regarding salvation for "our thoughts are not his thoughts, nor our ways his ways"
To sum, your friends and family are people, who if you deem are not in Christ or they so do profess, you should relentlessly work towards leading them towards the path you're walking with faith. And all who choose to follow Christ must first understand, internalize and apply the statement: he came to bring division not peace, in appropriate areas of their lives.