I had this question for a while and I just can't find the answer. Whenever I go to church all I hear, is that boys can do this, that and other things, but the girls can only listen and sing. It makes me feel very sad and depressed since I feel like I'm only an object that men has in order to not feel lonely .

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    You will need to specify a denomination for this question. Different church groups have different policies on what activity a male and female can perform in church services.
    – 007
    Commented Nov 26, 2019 at 19:00
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    – Lesley
    Commented Nov 27, 2019 at 8:50
  • sorry a bunch of men are putting your question on hold. If you're talking about a particular church, I just edit your question and then we can objectively answer the question.
    – Peter Turner
    Commented Nov 27, 2019 at 19:18
  • boys can do this, that and other things - The only thing that I can think of is that, in historical Christian churches, males are sometimes allowed into the altar.
    – user46876
    Commented Nov 30, 2019 at 21:25

2 Answers 2


What you referring to is Complementarianism.

Complementarianism is a theological view in Christianity [...] that men and women have different but complementary roles and responsibilities in marriage, family life, and religious leadership. [...] These separate roles preclude women from specific functions of ministry within the community. Though women may be precluded from certain roles and ministries, they are held to be equal in moral value and of equal status. The phrase used to describe this is 'Ontologically equal, Functionally different'.

This includes the concept of male headship, but does not mean that women are less "important" than men. It only means that they have different roles. You can take a role that falls under the responsibility of men, and then use that to say "women are less important". But that would ignore the whole picture, where both women, and men, have important roles.

I feel like I'm only an object that men has in order to not feel lonely .

This is certainly not in agreement with complementarian views, which, correctly understood, neither objectifies men or women. Furthermore, your roles and responsibilities extend far beyond making someone "not feel lonely."

From the article: "God has created men and women equal in their essential dignity and human personhood."

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    "complementarian views, which, correctly understood, neither objectifies men or women". Can we have "complementarian views, which complementarians say neither objectifies men or women". It is certainly not true that all Christians agree with the first statement. Commented Nov 26, 2019 at 21:03
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    If you think it is an objective fact that complementarianism does not in practice demean women, you are (objectively) wrong. You may believe it, but you cannot claim it is objectively true. Commented Nov 26, 2019 at 21:07
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    Nothing wrong with the quotes from Wikipedia. It's your commentary on it that I disagree with. Commented Nov 26, 2019 at 21:10
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    Wikipedia says "[women] are held to be equal in moral value and of equal status". That means complementarians say women have equal moral value and status. Commented Nov 26, 2019 at 21:18
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    I'm well aware that it's my opinion. But it is you who are claiming that your view is objective fact. Commented Nov 27, 2019 at 2:25

Starting at the beginning, male and female were both created in the image of God with no indication of inequality.

According to Paul, we who are in Christ are not to be distinguished by national or religious affiliation, degree of bondage, gender, etc as regards our position as children of God.

Much of what we see in church practice and in theological systems may stem from a misunderstanding of God's unchanging justice. The prohibition in the garden was given by God to Adam before Eve was created and what Eve knew of the prohibition had come to her secondhand, through Adam. The Serpent deceived Eve by playing on her ignorance of what God's specific words were. Adam, however, was not deceived. It was his disobedience that cast the human race into sin.

Because God's gifts and calling are irrevocable he is not about to let man off the hook. All of the teachings in Scripture which outline the man's authority in the church and in the home stem from this principle. Woman should take a lesser role, not because they are lesser but, because God is holding man accountable. Men that Lord it over or feel superior to women are simply not understanding what is at play much as Adam didn't understand his responsibility to support Eve during her temptation (since he was right there with her during it). It's actually scary to be a man in this light.

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