My witness to suffering can be elaborated by the following poem written by me. I am attaching this poem because I believe this poem a witness to my long journey with my cross assures me that I am following Christ's wishes but leaves a question unanswered. I have asked that small question at the end of the poem. I hope somebody here can answer that and help me understand God the Father well from a Catholic perspective.
Adoration at Golgotha
Adoree before the adored.
Before the exposed monstrance.
People cry out to Heaven.
For a drop of Holy Water.
The night deludes them.
To take the route to Satan’s
quiver and crescendo.
I deny myself to take that path.
I reject to take that false pathos.
Because I have the cross of Christ
living within me.
I have taken up a fraction of an
infinitesimally small fraction
of His suffering.
He has given me tiniest but
impossible to carry a cross.
I prostrate before Him.
Genuflect before Him.
Kneel down on the pew
so a crowbar cannot lift me up.
I lay before Him.
I kiss His bloody feet at Golgotha
as I am crucified along with Him.
The rebuke, the mockery, the rebuttal,
the screams, the cries, the smirks
all are pointed at Him and me.
I gave up my last drop of dignity
only for Christ.
Only for God the son.
Only for the son of man.
In Him, I live.
He requested me to carry the cross.
And I give my all
only for Him.
I know, in Him I will find
the truth, life, and the light.
I believe God will separate
the harvest from the chaffs.
Cause He is the Just God.
Our lust for power
will find the last meaning
at the end of the epitaph
engraved on the tombstone.
Our sins of the flesh
will be crushed by the holy stature of God.
And we will hear those sweet condescending words
This is the Domus Dei Omnipotentis. Come and join us.
Now God chose Christ to die on the cross. And give suffering meaning. Now my question is Can't God the Father choose Christ to come in reigning power as an emperor of the world to become a savior? Why did God the Father choose suffering for Christ instead?
It must be God the Father. Because Jesus at Gethsemani said, "Abba, Father if it were possible, take this chalice away from me. But not what I will what thou wilt." And on the Cross Jesus said, "Eli Eli Lama Sabachthani". "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?"