"You greatly delude yourself and err, if you think that one thing is demanded from the layman and another from the monk; since the difference between them is in that whether one is married or not, while in everything else they have the same responsibilities... Because all must rise to the same height; and what has turned the world upside down is that we think only the monk must live rigorously, while the rest are allowed to live a life of indolence" + St. John Chrysostom
What is St. John Chrysostom trying to say here about the lifestyle of the laity? It's apparent that not everyone is called to the life of St. Anthony the Great to live in a cave in the desert (even among monastics). So what is the commonality, here? How does one find their path in adopting the correct lifestyle for themselves that leads to salvation?
Most people, even Orthodox I know, would say that wearing sackcloth under your clothes and keeping a rigorous fast is extreme and meant for the monastics, but then I often read in the lives of the Saints of laity that were commended (though not mentioned by name) for doing just that.
So, what is it that is expected in lifestyle that St. John Chrysostom is saying is the same for laity and monastics? I ask because my intuition tells me, this must be the thing that helps you discern, with the help of a spiritual father, the measure of asceticism that is appropriate for each person, individually.