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I recently became aware of the concept of soaking, as an "alternative" to sexual intercourse, which is allegedly practiced by certain Mormons, as a moral way to express one's premarital desire for sexual activity without "really" having sex.

My questions are:

  1. Is this really practiced by Mormons?
  2. Why is "motionless sex" somehow seen as more moral than the full thing?
  3. Is this sanctioned by the Mormon church, or anyone else in a presumed position of authority?
  4. And if so, on what grounds is this permissible while "real" sex is not?
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  • Soaking, by the definition given in that blog post, is still totally sex. Good question.
    – LCIII
    Aug 11 '14 at 17:53
  • 2
    @ShemSeger: Of course it came up as a way of mocking Mormons. It strikes me as so off-the-wall that I wanted to give some Mormons a chance to defend themselves. It will also be nice to have a good answer I can point my mocking friends to.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 11 '14 at 18:59
  • @ShemSeger: I should have asked why "motionless sex" is viewed (by this culture) as more "moral." I don't necissarily expect you to know the answer to that aspect, but if you do, I'd love to know.
    – Flimzy
    Aug 11 '14 at 19:25
  • And if your question is about student 'culture' at BYU, then I think it may be off topic for this site.
    – ShemSeger
    Aug 11 '14 at 19:39
  • 1
    @ShemSeger: The question is about "Mormons." If the answer is "it's a BYU thing" that's fine... and doesn't probably need much more elaboration. :)
    – Flimzy
    Aug 11 '14 at 19:42
21

College Students Looking for Loopholes...

I would not be surprised if this was practiced by some students at BYU. But if it has happened, then it is a misbehaviour amongst select groups of naive students, it is most certainly not a church practice, as it is a clear violation of the law of Chastity. BYU has a very strict code of conduct, which essentially states, "If you fornicate, you will get kicked out of School."

From the BYU Undergraduate Catalogue:

Honor Code Statement

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men. . . . If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things (Thirteenth Article of Faith).

As a matter of personal commitment, faculty, administration, staff, and students of Brigham Young University, Brigham Young University—Hawaii, Brigham Young University—Idaho, and LDS Business College seek to demonstrate in daily living on and off campus those moral virtues encompassed in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and will

Be honest
Live a chaste and virtuous life
Obey the law and all campus policies
Use clean language
Respect others Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, and substance abuse
Participate regularly in church services Observe the Dress and Grooming Standards
Encourage others in their commitment to comply with the Honor Code

Conduct

All students are required to conduct themselves in a manner consistent with the Honor Code. In addition, students may not influence or seek to influence others to engage in behavior inconsistent with the Honor Code.

Students must abstain from the use of alcohol, tobacco, and illegal substances and from the intentional misuse or abuse of any substance. Sexual misconduct; obscene or indecent conduct or expressions; disorderly or disruptive conduct; participation in gambling activities; involvement with pornographic, erotic, indecent, or offensive material; and any other conduct or action inconsistent with the principles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Honor Code is not permitted. Violations of the Honor Code may result in actions up to and including separation from the university.

In an attempt to avoid expulsion, and church discipline, some students have tried to find a loophole in the honor code.

This idea of "soaking" is not the first unusual thing I've heard come out of BYU. A few years back there were supposedly a series of excommunications because some BYU kids were allegedly eloping to Vegas, getting legally married in one of those drive-thru chapels, having a quick honeymoon weekend, then getting the marriage annulled before going back to class on Monday. Their theory was, they were married when they were having sex, so it wasn't adultery. They tried to pull a fast one on the church with a technicality.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints does not sanction ANY form of sexual intercourse outside of the bonds of marriage between a man and a woman.

See Gospel Topics: Chastity

COMPLETE fidelity in thoughts, words and actions is the policy of the church, anything else is the vain attempt of a sinner trying to avoid accountability.

These students ignorantly assume that they can beat the system by adhering to the letter of the law, assuming that the courts in heaven emulate courts of men. God's justice invokes the spirit of the law, there are no loopholes.

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  • 5
    It looks like all 4 questions have been clearly answered here.
    – Matt
    Aug 12 '14 at 0:17
  • Any ref/citation for the excommunications for doing that in Vegas? On a quick search, I did find something about Vegas and excommunication, but not quite that story.
    – Fizz
    Sep 29 at 10:46
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  1. Perhaps, sometimes. But not commonly or openly, because:

  2. This would be still be a form of sexual intercourse, and as such would be prohibited for unmarried couples as are other forms of non-marital sexual intercourse and activity. (For the Strength of Youth, p. 36)

  3. It isn't permissible. For most people, it would be rather like trying to brake a snowsled that's already started downhill. It would be more difficult and frustrating to exercise sufficient control at that stage than to let things proceed naturally. It's far easier and better to never start in the first place.

2
  • Is this an official LDS view?
    – Flimzy
    Aug 11 '14 at 18:34
  • 5
    The "For the Strength of Youth" pamphlet is an official church document from the First Presidency that is issued to every youth in the church.
    – ShemSeger
    Aug 11 '14 at 20:31
0

Do Mormons practice "soaking," and is it an officially sanctioned activity?

The short answer is no.

Well, my friends, I am not a Mormon, yet I have a high ideal of their moral concepts in general. They are very family oriented, for the most part.

I would like to think that we are all adults here, so the subject is not new.

Sexual penetration is the insertion of a body part or other object into a body orifice, such as the vagina, anus or mouth, as part of human sexual activity or animal sexual behaviour.

The term is most commonly used in statute law in the context of proscribing certain sexual activities. Terms such as "sexual intercourse" or "carnal knowledge" are more commonly found in older statutes, while many modern criminal statutes use the term "sexual penetration" because it is a broad term encompassing (unless otherwise qualified) any form of penetrative sexual activity, including digital (i.e., the fingers) or with an object, and may involve only the most minimal penetration. Some jurisdictions refer to some forms of penetration as "acts of indecency", or other terminology.

Definitions

When a penis is inserted into a vagina, it is generally called vaginal or sexual intercourse. When a penis penetrates another person's anus, it is called anal sex or anal intercourse. Penetrative oral sex may involve penetration of the mouth by a penis (fellatio) or the use of the tongue to penetrate a vagina or vulva (cunnilingus). The tongue may also penetrate the anus during anilingus, which is a form of oral and anal sex. If one or more fingers are used to penetrate an orifice, it is called fingering or digital penetration. The insertion of an object, such as a dildo, vibrator or other sex toy, into a person's genital area or anus may also be considered sexual penetration. - Sexual penetration

Thus sexual intercourse outside of marriage is considered fornication. Being Catholic and not Mormon, I believe that both our faiths consider fornication a sin.

In the law of chastity, the Lord commands restraint in exercising the body's sexual and procreative powers. As revealed in scripture, this law forbids all sexual relationships outside of marriage. Authorities of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also condemn perverse or coercive sexual acts within marriage.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery," declares the Lord in the Decalogue (Ex. 20:14). Elsewhere in scripture, he prohibits fornication, homosexuality, incest, and bestiality (Ex. 22:16; Lev. 18:6-23). Teaching in both the eastern and western hemispheres, Jesus denounced unchastity in thought as well as deed (Matt. 5:27-28; 3 Ne. 12:27-28). The apostle Paul warned that if the Saints succumbed to sexual sin they would not "retain God in their knowledge" (Rom. 1:26-29). The Lord affirmed in the Book of Mormon that he "delight[s] in the chastity of women," condemning infidelity of husbands as an offense against wives and children (Jacob 2:28; 31-35). The prophet Abinadi indicted the priests of King Noah for harlotry and for failure to live and teach the Mosaic law that prohibits adultery (Mosiah 12:29;13:22). Corianton was taught by his father, Alma 2, that sexual sin is "most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost" (Alma 39:5). Mormon lamented the utter degeneracy of soldiers who raped female prisoners, "depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue" (Moro. 9:9).

In latter-day revelation, Church leaders are directed to excommunicate adulterers if they refuse to repent. The Doctrine and Covenants reproves adulterous desires as a denial of the faith, disqualifying offenders from the companionship of the Spirit (D&C 42:23-26;63:16). The Prophet Joseph Smith beheld in vision that unrepentant adulterers and whoremongers will be with liars and sorcerers in the Telestial Kingdom (D&C 76:103).

Church leaders have repeatedly stressed obedience to the law of chastity. In an official pronouncement in 1942, the First Presidency promised "the exaltations of eternities" to those who remain chaste, deploring sexual immorality as a destroyer of individuals and nations. "The doctrine of this Church," they stated, "is that sexual sin-the illicit sexual relations of men and women-stands, in its enormity, next to murder. The Lord has drawn no essential distinctions between fornication, adultery, and harlotry or prostitution. Each has fallen under His solemn and awful condemnation" (CR 112 [Oct. 1942]:10-12). Sexual violations desecrate much that is holy, including divinely given procreative powers, the sanctity of life, marriage, and family. President David O. McKay said chastity is "the most vital part of the foundation of a happy marriage andthe source of strength and perpetuity of the race" (CR 137 [Apr. 1967]:8). Church leaders recognize only one standard of chastity for both men and women. Speaking in 1980, President Spencer W. Kimball affirmed: "Total chastity before marriage and total fidelity after are still the standard from which there can be no deviation without sin, misery, and unhappiness" (CR 150 [Oct. 1980]:4).

The law of chastity applies not only to behavior but also to dress, speech, and thought. Latter-day Saints are counseled to dress modestly, to use dignified language in speaking of bodily functions, and to cultivate virtuous thoughts. Accordingly, they are to avoid anything pornographic in literature, movies, television, and conversation. Though many outside the Church regard masturbation as normal, LDS leaders teach that the practice is wrong, one that feeds base appetites and may lead to other sinful conduct. Similarly, unmarried couples who engage in petting or fondling are breaking the law of chastity, and stimulating impulses that may lead to other sin.

In the law of chastity, the Lord commands restraint in exercising the body's sexual and procreative powers. As revealed in scripture, this law forbids all sexual relationships outside of marriage. Authorities of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also condemn perverse or coercive sexual acts within marriage.

"Thou shalt not commit adultery," declares the Lord in the Decalogue (Ex. 20:14). Elsewhere in scripture, he prohibits fornication, homosexuality, incest, and bestiality (Ex. 22:16; Lev. 18:6-23). Teaching in both the eastern and western hemispheres, Jesus denounced unchastity in thought as well as deed (Matt. 5:27-28; 3 Ne. 12:27-28). The apostle Paul warned that if the Saints succumbed to sexual sin they would not "retain God in their knowledge" (Rom. 1:26-29). The Lord affirmed in the Book of Mormon that he "delight[s] in the chastity of women," condemning infidelity of husbands as an offense against wives and children (Jacob 2:28; 31-35). The prophet Abinadi indicted the priests of King Noah for harlotry and for failure to live and teach the Mosaic law that prohibits adultery (Mosiah 12:29;13:22). Corianton was taught by his father, Alma 2, that sexual sin is "most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost" (Alma 39:5). Mormon lamented the utter degeneracy of soldiers who raped female prisoners, "depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue" (Moro. 9:9).

In latter-day revelation, Church leaders are directed to excommunicate adulterers if they refuse to repent. The Doctrine and Covenants reproves adulterous desires as a denial of the faith, disqualifying offenders from the companionship of the Spirit (D&C 42:23-26;63:16). The Prophet Joseph Smith beheld in vision that unrepentant adulterers and whoremongers will be with liars and sorcerers in the Telestial Kingdom (D&C 76:103).

Church leaders have repeatedly stressed obedience to the law of chastity. In an official pronouncement in 1942, the First Presidency promised "the exaltations of eternities" to those who remain chaste, deploring sexual immorality as a destroyer of individuals and nations. "The doctrine of this Church," they stated, "is that sexual sin-the illicit sexual relations of men and women-stands, in its enormity, next to murder. The Lord has drawn no essential distinctions between fornication, adultery, and harlotry or prostitution. Each has fallen under His solemn and awful condemnation" (CR 112 [Oct. 1942]:10-12). Sexual violations desecrate much that is holy, including divinely given procreative powers, the sanctity of life, marriage, and family. President David O. McKay said chastity is "the most vital part of the foundation of a happy marriage andthe source of strength and perpetuity of the race" (CR 137 [Apr. 1967]:8). Church leaders recognize only one standard of chastity for both men and women. Speaking in 1980, President Spencer W. Kimball affirmed: "Total chastity before marriage and total fidelity after are still the standard from which there can be no deviation without sin, misery, and unhappiness" (CR 150 [Oct. 1980]:4).

The law of chastity applies not only to behavior but also to dress, speech, and thought. Latter-day Saints are counseled to dress modestly, to use dignified language in speaking of bodily functions, and to cultivate virtuous thoughts. Accordingly, they are to avoid anything pornographic in literature, movies, television, and conversation. Though many outside the Church regard masturbation as normal, LDS leaders teach that the practice is wrong, one that feeds base appetites and may lead to other sinful conduct. Similarly, unmarried couples who engage in petting or fondling are breaking the law of chastity, and stimulating impulses that may lead to other sin.

Chastity fosters personal peace and confidence (see D&C 121:45). Referring specifically to unchastity, Alma wrote that "wickedness never was happiness" (Alma 41:10). The Church teaches that those guilty of infidelity lose the Spirit of the Lord, and bring upon themselves and their families jealousy, grief, anger, and distrust.

Persons guilty of unchastity may receive forgiveness through full repentance. Because unchastity violates baptismal and explicit temple vows, penitent offenders must confess such sins to their bishop, branch president, or other appropriate Church leader. After prayerfully considering the transgression, the Church leader may-especially in cases of adultery, fornication, or homosexuality-convene a disciplinary council to help the transgressor through repentance and to protect the integrity of the Church. Depending on the offense and the spiritual maturity of the offender, a disciplinary council may excommunicate, disfellowship, place on probation, or exonerate the person.

Chastity fosters personal peace and confidence (see D&C 121:45). Referring specifically to unchastity, Alma wrote that "wickedness never was happiness" (Alma 41:10). The Church teaches that those guilty of infidelity lose the Spirit of the Lord, and bring upon themselves and their families jealousy, grief, anger, and distrust.

Persons guilty of unchastity may receive forgiveness through full repentance. Because unchastity violates baptismal and explicit temple vows, penitent offenders must confess such sins to their bishop, branch president, or other appropriate Church leader. After prayerfully considering the transgression, the Church leader may-especially in cases of adultery, fornication, or homosexuality-convene a disciplinary council to help the transgressor through repentance and to protect the integrity of the Church. Depending on the offense and the spiritual maturity of the offender, a disciplinary council may excommunicate, disfellowship, place on probation, or exonerate the person. - Law of Chastity

Students these days tend to be very modern and relativistic in our day. Thus even student of BYU Will tend to be more lacks on moral issues then their ancestors, just like other denominations, even Catholics with regards to soaking. Times are changing, and not for the better.

From what I have read soaking is a fad amongst many Mormon college students, but will never be permitted according to their genuine beliefs and /or constitutions.

College students will always look for ways to skirt the rules in our days. It is not limited to Mormon only, in any way of the imagination! Sin is contagious when left unchecked.

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