Colossians 3:13 (KJV) - Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
As far as I am aware, God only forgives those who confess their sin to Him and repent of it. Does this then mean, contradictory to all teaching on forgiveness I've heard, that we only need to forgive those who confess to us they have wronged us and repent of it?
Where your confusion seems to lie is in the fact that Salvation(forgiveness) is a gift from God.
This is what Christians believe.
The fact that Jesus died on the Cross So that our sins might be forgiven;
Matthew 20:28 KJV
Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
Please notice that this scripture says many and not all.
The reason for this is rather simple in that Salvation is a gift from God due to his enormous grace.
God sacrificed his son on the cross, so that we might receive his gift of Salvation , but just as any other gift it must be received by the person to whom it is presented.
For instance if you never open your Christmas gifts they are still gifts, but they do not do you any good until you do open them and begin to use them. And if you never do it is not the fault of the person who gave the gift .
So it is with Salvation it is there just waiting for acceptance, and even beyond acceptance to be used by the receiver. The two go hand in hand.
When Jesus died on the cross God heaped on him punishment for all the sins of the World, but it must be remembered that as terrible as it sounds that too was a gift (albeit a miserable gift), and as with all gifts Jesus had to accept them.
Colossians 2:13 KJV
And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;
We must also remember that a gift not only has to be received, but it must also be given and remember that those are our sins, they do not belong to either God or Jesus, therefore it is us who must make a gift of them to Jesus so that he too can make use of them to justify his dieing on the cross. Since he has taken the punishment, we should at least make it worth his sacrifice.
The next step would logically be to do that, but the question is how can we?
Well that's a good question and I'm glad you asked it!
1st John 1:9 KJV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Here is how it is done.
1 We must admit that those sins belong to us. (that is confession)
2 We must ask God to allow Jesus death on the cross to be the remission of our sins. (ask for forgiveness)
God will then turn to Jesus (who is at his right hand) and ask if he will accept your sin . (of course Jesus will say yes since he already suffered torture in your name).
At that time your sins will be taken from you and sacrificed on the Cross with Jesus.(that is forgiveness)
Believe then that your sins have been paid for in full, and you have been born again, not of the flesh but of the Spirit, and you have become worthy to enter Heaven since you are now sinless in God's eyes, and have become perfect as Jesus was perfect.
The key word here is believe.
1st John 1:12 KJV
But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:
As I said before a gift is only a gift not only when it is opened, but it must also be used.
Suppose you are given a car, and all you do with it is set it up and look at it.
It is still a gift and it is yours but until you start to dive it you are not making use of your gift.
There are two ways in which you can use your gift of Salvation, you can bask in it, which God wants you to do.
John 10:10 KJV
The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
I like the more abundantly part!
and you can also share it. (which is what I am doing now.)
Here are some other Scriptures which help to explain.
All are from the King James version of the Bible.
Mark 4:12 That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them.
Matthew 9:6 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (then saith he to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, take up thy bed, and go unto thine house.
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
"But God demonstrated his love for us that at while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us" --Romans 5:8
Especially in light of Hebrews 9:28
so also Christ died once for all time as a sacrifice to take away the sins of many people. He will come again, not to deal with our sins, but to bring salvation to all who are eagerly waiting for him.
we understand that the sacrificial death took away the sins of people. This seems to be a clear enough analogue to forgiveness to be able to say that Christ's forgiveness was given in that sacrifice, and therefore occurred before our repentance.
We had neither confessed nor repented, and yet Christ forgave, modeling how we ought to forgive each other- selflessly and unconditionally. Jesus forgave us before we cried out to him, negating the premise.
Jesus did say "if your brother sins against you, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him"
And He clearly condemned those who refuse to forgive those who are obviously sorry.
Forgiving those who have wronged us is only a part or even a facet of what we need to do to be forgiven. What about when you have done something wrong and need forgiveness? Asking for forgiveness is part of the equation.
We also need to repent or in other words actively show that we are remorseful. This means that we need to show that we are actively seeking to not do what we are asking forgiveness for. If you ask for god to forgive you, for say fornication, and then the next day go out and commit the act again and so on god will not listen to your requests. Lamentations 3:44
"You have blocked approach to yourself with a cloud, so that our prayer may not pass through."
In order to be forgiven we need to forgive others, but more is required of us than that for salvation. Forgiveness is a large piece of what we need to demonstrate, but again only a piece.
