Many references in Bible points out that Man must leave his parents after marriage. Does it really mean that the parents and wife cannot live together in a common house ?

  • I think it doesn't mean you should leave your parents physicly but it tells you to become independent. You have your own family now and you are the head/leader of it. – Joel Harkes Jun 24 '13 at 7:32
  • Thanks Joel, in many families this is misunderstood, even my wife argues while referring this..example of Isaac and Rebecca is an answer for such arguments. – Tauri Jun 24 '13 at 7:44
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  • David - I've gone through the links you've mentioned and I haven't felt it an off-topic as I was asking a question that could be backed up by accepted Christian teachings, denominational statements,established doctrinal understandings. Anyways do correct me if my understanding is wrong. – Tauri Jun 25 '13 at 4:47

Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Gen 24:67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. ... Gen 25:5 And Abraham gave all that he had unto Isaac.

No its specifically referring to sex but some including my maternal grandparents would disagree. Before the advent of modern technology many people did not move far from their place of birth in their lifetime. For instance Isaac did not leave "home" when he married Rebekah. I'm certain there are other examples but caring for relatives especially widows is something which is required of believers. Communal dwellings are common for the very poor and very rich.

  • Thanks for the response with the example of Isaac and Rebecca. I never noticed it earlier that he did not leave his parents home after marriage. But after the first night is there any possibility that he has left his parents for a seperate home as it was not mentioned anywhere ? – Tauri Jun 24 '13 at 5:25
  • I meant there could be a possibility that Isaac has left his Parents home after the wedding ceremony as it was not mentioned anywhere? – Tauri Jun 24 '13 at 5:31
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    @user1882833 in genesis 25 abraham had all his kids living with him he sent away all but isaac. the implication is that isaac stayed still – user4060 Jun 24 '13 at 5:37
  • caseyr547-Thank you very much, this helps me a lot. – Tauri Jun 24 '13 at 6:15

Genesis 2 vs 21b But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 And Adam said:

“This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.The marriage between a man and a woman is an allegory of spiritual realities. It is pointing to the relationship between Christ and His church.

Note that Genesis 2 vs 24 is not a command, but rather an observation of the truth in the natural, and in this observation a greater mystery, that of Christ is revealed.

This observation is based on the preceding event - the statement of a man leaving his parents to cling to his wife finds it's understanding what took place before the word "therefore". Whenever we see "therefore", we need to see what it is "there for".

The preceding verses in Genesis 2 speak about the intimacy between a man and a woman, how they started off as a unit, and how they find their fulfillment in being a couple.

So to paraphrase what Genesis 2 vs 24 is saying within the context of what is happening in conjunction with the preceding scriptures:

Man and Woman started out as one, and because of that, they will find their ultimate purpose in being together as one in covenant with each other. God decreed it that man would need a helper and His solution was that it would be in a woman.

They will no longer find their sustenance or servitude in being part of their parents household, but they will build a new life together. In this togetherness, the purposes of God and the expression of Christ and His bride will be revealed.

It is not something to be forced, it is in our DNA to be like that. We long for that unity because it is where we come from.

Just on a side note, it is good for people to leave their parents house to make a life for themselves. I have often seen one spouse cling too much to their parent(s) leaving the other spouse alone in the relationship.

For new dispensations to come, old things need to end, you cannot have a future if you keep trying to live in the past.

Things don't always work like that in the real world, but if you can then get your own place and put your marriage partner before your parents. Love them, but know that this new expression of a covenant between a man and a woman is where it is now at for you.

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    Your wife married you, not your mother. If she wanted to share a house with your mother she would have probably married her. – Neil Meyer Nov 14 '18 at 14:09

In my very limited study of the Bible, leaving and cleaving means to separate yourself at the soul level from your parents and to shift your loyalty from parents to wife/husband.

Looking at it contextually during that time leaving and cleaving was really needed to fill the earth with people, so uprooting physically needed to happen, among others.

Today though, since the earth is already populated, there needs to be distance yes, but maybe not as far as we think or was needed before. It depends on the people. I have a cousin who left and cleaved from home and moved to another country with her husband.

Regardless of how large or small the distance gap is, the principle of not being in the same house as your parents is crucial. There are articles online about communal living, but none of it talk about the positives. Of the 10 articles I read, 50% talk about how to manage the stresses that come with it while the other 50% say it isn't really helpful in a marriage at all. In fact, studies have shown that it could lead to familial friction and divorce.

In terms of the negatives, the sibling of that same cousin also left home for a while with his family but moved back to their childhood home after their father died just to keep their mother company. With the latter cousin it's been a "move away briefly move back briefly" arrangement. Although, with this latter cousin, the friction is really evident when we hang out with them. As young as I am (single and not in a relationship), I really see the effects of not leaving and cleaving.

I myself have been preparing to leave and cleave, but not too far. In fact, one of the condo units I'm looking at is just one town away and accessible to my childhood home via highway.

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