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Being a christian, it is required to love others and be a blessing to them and help them.

However, this is a self centered world. And most of the times people will just abuse your help and refer to you only when you are needed.

Throughout the years i noticed that most people keep their human relationship with you only limited to the Days where they need your help.

I started to believe that it is not "always" sane to help others. What do you think - based on the bible - is the limit where helping others must stop?

The thing is, even if you have a deep faith and would like to be a blessing to others, the selfishness of people at some point might make you not enjoy what you are doing anymore.

UPDATE: 5/29/2012
In addition the the great feedback below, i would like to share what i read today in the bible and which is related to my question

Matthew 5.6-10:
"Happy are those whose greatest desire is to do what God requires; God will satisfy them fully!"
"Happy are those who are merciful for to others; God will be merciful to them!"
"Happy are those who are persecuted because they do what God requires; the kingdom of heaven belongs to them!"

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Great question, sounds like you are at a similar place I was not too long ago, when I questioned the "saneness" of what I was doing and how I was helping. Here was what I ended up learning the hard way, if it gets to the point where you are no longer joyful (in the Lord) it causes other aspects of you life to suffer (raising you child) or creates more problems somewhere else, then I truly believe that is NOT what Jesus wants. Now, some will say we must be servant if we are true Christian's and that is what lead me to this question: – Greg McNulty May 27 '12 at 22:09
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@GregMcNulty thks for the feedback. You are right, and actually as christian , or mainly human, each of us has a specific talent, a limit, and a field where he/she is good at. So we cannot all be mother theresa, but we can better than her in field where she wasn't good at. I believe you do what God asks u to do but not over your limit, because when u go above ur limit , what is supposed to be a blessing becomes a curse.On a side note, its not that i am not joyful, its thatam wondering and asking myself questions, like for example: why is it so hard for people to become a bit less selfish,etc.. – chadi cortbaoui May 27 '12 at 22:27
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Shadesco: Selfishness is just the tip of the iceberg for some of my questions about humanity! Actually stackoverflow was one of the first things that slightly gave me hope in that people can give without really expecting back tangibly. I didn't expect people to be so helpful, now if it was only like that everywhere else! – Greg McNulty May 27 '12 at 22:30
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I say that radical hospitality is the way to go... That is to give without expecting anything in return always... If the person that you blessed chooses to abuse/take advantage of you then that is between them and God.. IMHO... – TheX Feb 8 at 21:40
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3 Answers

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Our Lord Jesus Christ told us, that we should love not only those who love us (Luke 6, 33) (and even our enemies (Matthew 5,44)). Also that we should lend not expecting anything in return (Luke 6, 35) and that we shouldn't seek "the glory of men" when we give alms (Matthew 6, 2).

So if you feel that you are not enough rewarded by men, it just means that your love is not perfect and that there is selfishness in you. You should ignore this feeling and do good deeds just for the sake of Christ, not expecting people to be grateful and not judging them for abusing you.

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you are 100% right, and anyway i help for the sake of Christ not people. But, on another hand, the bible says "I'm sending you out like sheep among wolves. So be as cunning as snakes but as innocent as doves.". Doesn't that mean that you should also know when you should stop and dun let others just abuse your helpful character? – chadi cortbaoui May 26 '12 at 13:40
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@shadesco This ties into turning the other cheek - "I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well." Yes, this is hard for humans to do, but Christ does call us to be helpful even to the people who outright abuse us - the people who abuse only our generosity are nothing next to this. – Muke Tever May 26 '12 at 16:49
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@zefciu ,@muke tever thank you both for the feedback. God bless you peeps. Seing decent people in a narcissistic planet makes me still have hope in humanity :) have a good one! – chadi cortbaoui May 26 '12 at 17:40
shadesco: There are contradictions in the word, if you figure these out, please let me know! – Greg McNulty May 27 '12 at 22:11
@GregMcNulty i didn't get your point, contradiction in what word? – chadi cortbaoui May 27 '12 at 22:28
up vote 5 down vote

You can do works until your head explodes and it will never be enough. There is enough need in the world to drain every Christian completely dry and still there would be needs unmet. So asking yourself how long you should continue your good works is a self-defeating question.

The real answer lies in a complete paradigm shift from works to grace. When you begin to see that the answer doesn't lie with your works, but rather with God's work being done through you and others, then the "I gotta work harder!" voice in the back of your head begins to quieten, and you become filled with peace and joy. When you are RESTING in Christ, rather than running an endless hamster wheel of works, then it becomes your great joy to help others. It's no longer a burden. And when you've done what you can do, you're perfectly happy to rest and leave the remainder in God's hands. You don't have to work yourself to a frazzle, never feeling like it's enough. God has many tools. You're not the only wrench in the drawer. You don't have to disassemble the entire car by yourself. Trust God. He will put you where you need to be, when you need to be there. It's really just about resting in Christ.

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this is really good advise. I am sure you can back it with references in the Word, could you add those please? – Greg McNulty May 27 '12 at 22:19
@Arthur very true, i think a lot of christian forget or simply do not know about "resting in christ". This is very important! – chadi cortbaoui May 27 '12 at 22:51
up vote 7 down vote

Jesus also said

"Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces" in Matthew 7:6

and

"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." in Matthew 10:16

Your master is Jesus Christ. No man can serve two masters. That's the beauty of being a slave and bondsman. As his slave - his doulous, you only owe Him your service. If he is calling to you do something, then, yes, by all means, you should be doing it. But it is fair to ask, is he calling you to every one of these tasks, or do you just wish to earn their love and admiration for what you do?

Finally, bear in mind that, as 1 Cor 13 says,

"Love seeketh not its own."

and Hebrews 12:6 - 11 says:

the Lord disciplines the one he loves, ... what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline —then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. ... They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.

As a parent, I want to shower my kids with every toy I can think of, and never make them do a thing. This weekend, I've been working with them to clean up all that junk. I'm realizing that they don't need or even want everything I'm given them. Also, I could just pick it all up for them, but where would the learning be? Sometimes, the most loving thing I can do is help them to help themselves. That doesn't always mean doing for them - it could just be that love means "No."

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Affable, I think all of us still have a hard time feeling good about things that don't seem nice but really are in the best interest of the other person as well as yourself and others. Example, giving everything to our children feels so right but could cause more problems down the road for them, us and others. – Greg McNulty May 27 '12 at 22:16
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@affable geek thks for the feedback. You are right bro, but our relationship with God is not "blind" master and slave relation. I do not serve two masters. JESUS asked the people to give him the two fish and bread and he'll fill the basket for them. It means, he said do what you "Can" do, what your limit imposes and i'll do the rest. So i was asking what is the limit for helping others, knowing that this world is a place where people are like piranha fish: as soon as you throw sthg in the water they devour it and leave nthg at all? I felt sometimes u have to stop it when necessary – chadi cortbaoui May 27 '12 at 22:44
@Affable Geek A small comment about kids, if you want my opinion, do not exaggerate with your love to your kids. What i mean is, in my opinion (i dun have kids but sill), you should as a parent provide for them and make their life very pleasurable , mostly by doing activities with them and teaching them how to deal with life. But also, "never making them do a thing" is not helpful for them. Use the example of the eagle in the bible: at some point he puts thorns in his nest to make his kids leave and jump. once they jump he follows them if they need him, this is how they learn to fly! – chadi cortbaoui May 27 '12 at 22:49
shadesco - one of the revelations about this topic I had was that I didn't quiet see the pastors and Church staff actually doing the extent of what they were preaching. Don't get me wrong, they have blessed many people, but it seemed that they were describing how we should feel and act in relation to Christ in certain situations, I didn't always see them doing that.... – Greg McNulty May 29 '12 at 23:50
@GregMcNulty christianity is not about humans bro, a pastor is human. The bible has an answer for you, Matthew 23:3-->"So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach." It is telling you clearly that pastors are human and a lot of them sin and do not do what they preach. This doesn't mean your faith should be affected, cause your faith is about Jesus Christ not how human behave toward Jesus. A lot of people do this mistake, they judge religion based on human acts! Its like judging medical laws by a failed doctor! – chadi cortbaoui May 30 '12 at 1:46

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