Your question comes from the Bible and the Bible also yields the answer!
Love and respect are in relational union throughout the Bible, most notably love in the form of grace and respect in the form of faith. Eternal Life is the offspring of the marriage between grace/faith.
Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith
Romans 4:16 Therefore it is of faith, that it might be by grace
So while love initiates in grace, faith’s response is one of submission.
St. Paul extends the dynamics of this relational union to wives and husbands, which produce physical life.
Ephesians 5:22-32 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord…Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Just as grace is a form of love, respect is a form of faith. Even the high estimation of fear in the Old Testament translates into respect and faith in the New Testament.
Paul assigns the husband as the instrument for loves transmission and he assigns faith’s response to the wife. Paul here is not obligated to the modern “peer-partnership” view of marriage. Paul takes time to magnify the marriage relationship as a typical relationship between Christ and the Church.
Paul’s perspective is however appropriate today, husbands should extend grace (unmerited love) to their wives and wives should faithfully anticipate (hope for) high and noble aspirations from their husbands.
Love is in relational union with honor and respect, just as grace is in relational union with faith. The Hebrew word “chen” translated as grace is a masculine noun, where the Hebrew word “'emuwanh” translated as faith is a feminine noun. Gender does matter in the Bible, because gender distinctions produce life.