I have never used this site before, so sorry if this is not the way things are done here.
I am currently a non-believer in any religion for a multitude of reasons, but as I have not explored religion fully (I am only 17) I remain open. I was brought up in a Christian family, but the main reason I fail to understand God and/or the Bible is due to my circumstances. I have and continue to suffer from recurring depression disorder; this has lead to many philosophical moments and much thinking time. For a period, I hated God with a gusto, trying to make others open their eyes through finding problems with their beliefs, for why had God given me my depression? What had I done? And, more importantly, what screwed up deity worth believing in would do this, not just to me but the debilitating effect on my family? I have answered some of the questions myself but want to know more. This site seemed the best place to start my journey, for not believing in a God has its problems. At the moment, I have no purpose in life, at times little to live for and when I look hard into why we exist, it seems to come down to random chance and therefore no reason at all.
Today when I was thinking, I came across a new question: “Why does God, who is omibelovelent, send those that fail to understand or believe in him to hell?” If someone is all-caring (and I try my best to be, but as everyone knows, it is impossible for humans can only care for so many at a time without caring for themselves) surely they would realise that someone like me would fail to understand and therefore, when I die, he would show himself to me and then I would realise my mistake and give myself to him wholly?