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Sexual immorality comprises of homosexuality, pornography,incest and fornication among other things. I want to know if oral sex falls into this umbrella term even if it's done in marriage?

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Just FYI, you won't get kicked out of heaven for doing it. Jesus said that to even have the thought is to commit the sin. I'm pretty positive 99% of men in the world sin every day. The other 1% are in coma. – user1054 Oct 19 '12 at 16:55

3 Answers

up vote 7 down vote accepted

(Note: this answer comes from a reformed, Presbyterian perspective, YMMV)

Sexual immorality is defined pretty clearly by Jesus in Matthew 5:28 (NIV):

But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

That puts everyone who managed to live through puberty squarely in the guilty category here. So let's start from there. We're all guilty of sexual immorality, that's the fact. That's not to say that instances of sexual immorality are not serious and shouldn't be dealt with seriously. But just to introduce some levity, we're all guilty here.

Now, you assumed that 4 things fall squarely in this category, I don't want to argue that list, but at least 3 are pretty expressly forbidden by scripture and the fourth falls squarely into lust for the most part so we'll accept the list. But the point of the first passages is that sexual immorality is even broader. It's deeply embedded in our hearts and minds.

Then of course you drop the bomb, is oral sex immoral? I'm actually going to take this a step farther and get the question you're really asking. Is it OK for married Christians to have anything but normal intercourse? But let's handle a side issue first.

Positions on sex before marriage and any kind of sexual contact outside of marriage vary. However, in my opinion (and it's one I share with a pretty wide swath of mainstream Christianity) it's both unwise and immoral to engage in sexual contact or sex prior to marriage. This is a well supported argument and it's made elsewhere on this site, so it's really not necessary to delve into it here.

The crux of this question is whether or not things that are believed to be inappropriate outside of a marriage are appropriate inside of one. For normal vaginal sex, the answer is obvious. One of the functions of marriage is to provide a home for children and well to have kids you've gotta have sex (obvious caveats for in vitro, adoption etc). But what about non-procreatory sex acts?

Let me be clear. The Bible contains no clear prohibitions on non-procreatory sex acts (in fact a couple of passages in Song of Songs may refer to oral sex specifically and in a very positive way). Although being intentional about being non-procreatory when you are culturally obligated to may have disastrous effects (see Onan.)

This makes it up to the man and the woman in the relationship to set boundaries and decide what is right and wrong in the context of their marriage. For that the guiding principal has to be Ephesians 5:5 (NIV).

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

This passage in Ephesians is much maligned in modern society, but the crux is that we should faithfully submit to one another. It's hinged on respect. In the case of your question that means that anything that you do that is outside of the boundaries set in your marriage can and should be considered sexual immorality.

This brings us back to the passage I mentioned at the outset. Sexual Immorality is not something that has strict definitions. If even looking at a woman with lust in your heart qualifies, then the definition is far broader than any specific act or set of acts. In the context of marriage this means that you must work and communicate with your partner to set your boundaries and decide what is welcome and what is off limits between the two of you.

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+1 for in depth explanation. – Monkieboy Oct 19 '12 at 18:00
up vote 7 down vote

Paul is very clear that sexual immorality is a condition of heart as much as body. He says in 1 Corinthinas 6:

12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”[b] 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.[c]

18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Basically, whenever you are uniting two bodies in spirit you are having "sex." The physical intimacy is the point of sex, and the thing that can be perverted. If, simply put, you join together that which God has not already put together (i.e. in marriage), it is a misuse.

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So in marriage, a couple should not practice oral sex? – Paddington Oct 19 '12 at 14:21
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Quite the contrary - there you are joining together two people that God already has put together. That is not perversion at all! Specifics of what goes on in the bedroom are not all what Scripture dwells on. Indeed, we are told to "enjoy the wife of our youth." Scripture doesn't care about the how of sex, only the who... – Affable Geek Oct 19 '12 at 14:25
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That said, Mrs. Affable Geek may have different views of what constitutes a proper joining together... – Affable Geek Oct 19 '12 at 14:27
+1 Hmmm nice answer, still not sure either way whether it is an immoral act to perform with a partner or not, but the rest of your explanation I am total agreement with. – Monkieboy Oct 19 '12 at 14:31
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Considering there will be sinners like me in heaven, I see no reason why not. – Affable Geek Oct 19 '12 at 17:09
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up vote 2 down vote

Yes it certainly does fall into the category of sexual immorality. The simple reason is that if you are participating in such an activity then you will uncertainly be thinking sexually immoral thoughts and most likely be causing the other participant to also be thinking sexually immoral thoughts.

Our thoughts are extremely important for in

Matthew 5: 27-28, Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said to those of old, "You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

As for if it is immoral within marriage I am unsure, but I would leave it to the husband and wife to decide if they feel it is appropriate.

I would like to bring to mind

Romans 6:13, "And do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God."

Not entirely sure if this relating to a persons body parts but if it is then it could be an indication of whether it is right to use your body in such a way.

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Down voters please leave comments, some of these matters are extremely important and if reasons are not provided there may be learning opportunities lost. – Monkieboy Oct 19 '12 at 18:58
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I +1d this. It's a good summary – Affable Geek Oct 20 '12 at 2:47
@Monkieboy drive-by downvoting is common here, it's also almost random. – user1054 Oct 23 '12 at 1:32
I suspect people downvote answers from contributors with low rep, I cannot see any other logic to it (or maybe I assume too much). I appreciate your comments and support; to the people that have left comments and upvoted, thank you. – Monkieboy Oct 23 '12 at 5:39
@Monkieboy I didn't down vote here, but a couple of things do strike me about the answer that caused me not to up vote it (and may be why it got some downvotes). primarily its lack of certainty of position, your answer basically amounts to "I don't know." You put some scripture around it and provoke thought, but you're not telling us anything. The lack of certainty here was actually what provoked me to answer in the first place. There is a good answer here and it's just a matter of thinking hard and doing the research. That said, your answer contributes to the question. – wax eagle♦ Oct 24 '12 at 2:23
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